


How Lizzie Bennet, Perpetually Single, Got Her Groove Thing On

by monsterbate



Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Pride and Prejudice - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Lizzie!Lydia, Post-Pemberley Arc, costume theater, jane!darcy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 21:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterbate/pseuds/monsterbate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane hesitates a moment longer, smoothing out the stripe of red satin that Lydia had thrown in her lap. “Are you sure Lizzie won’t mind?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Lizzie Bennet, Perpetually Single, Got Her Groove Thing On

**Author's Note:**

  * For [torigates](https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/gifts).



“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jane asks, fingers twisted together.

Lydia nods sagely, tossing her hair as she glances at the camera. “Of course. Lizzie’s viewers would never forgive us if we didn’t. They know her as completely lame and perpetually single. They _need_ to know.”

Jane hesitates a moment longer, smoothing out the stripe of red satin that Lydia had thrown in her lap. “Are you sure Lizzie won’t mind?”

“Lizzie has bigger things on her mind, Jane. And by _bigger_ , I clearly mean--”

“Lydia!”

Lydia smirks, pulling on Lizzie’s blue flannel shirt. “Are you ready or what?”

Jane adjusts the hat and accepts the sheaf of papers Lydia’s waving in her direction. “Yes. I’m ready.”

“Good. So. Lizzie and Darcy are sitting outside, okay?”

“How do you even know what happened?”

Lydia shoots another look at the camera. “Let’s just say I happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

Jane looks skeptical, but she scans the script again and doesn’t say anything. “So Lizzie and Darcy were sitting outside...”

“And Lizzie says, ‘Darcy--I really should say thank you for what you did. For Lydia.’”

“What? What did Darcy do for you, Lydia?”

Lydia makes a face, but the expression seems to sour and she shrugs instead. “He kind of...helped, with the Wickham thing.”

“Lydia! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“He made me promise not to tell! And, besides, we all thought he was still Mr. Douche at that point.”

“But if he helped you, Lydia--”

“Jane! Don’t you have a Darcy to be?”

Jane levels a look at Lydia that’s half sisterly affection, half perturbed. “Fine. But we’re not done talking about this.”

“Of course. Now, I said, ‘Darcy, thanks for everything.’ And you say...?”

Jane-as-Darcy drops her shoulders and her voice. “‘You weren’t supposed to find out about that. I, ah, apologize if my assistance seemed too forward. I did not think you would know.’”

Lydia-as-Lizzie scowls at the camera. “‘Of course I had to know because I have to know everything! But whatever. Thank you. From all of us.’”

“Did he really say this?” Jane asks, glancing up from the script. “This sounds like something out of a romance novel."

“Jane!”

“Right; okay. Um, ‘If you will thank me, let it be for yourself alone. Your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I only thought of... _you_.’”

Lydia-as-Lizzie blinks at Jane-as-Darcy in a way that’s meant to be flirtatious but mostly looks confused. Then she turns to the camera with a smirk. “This is where Lizzie was totally and completely speechless. Which is when I knew Darcy was probably actually great because anyone who can shut up Lizzie Bennet is my new fave. And then Darcy said--” 

An elbow to the ribs makes Jane sit up and shuffle her script. “‘You--you are too generous to trifle with me. If you still feel how you felt last autumn, please, tell me so at once. My feelings remain the same, but one word from you will silence me on the subject. Forever.’”

“And then she jumped his bones!”

“Lydia!”

“What? It’s completely, 100% truth facts. I was there! I witnessed the bone-jumping. It was, now that I think about it, kind of gross. But whatever! Lizzie Bennet got herself some man-candy and is no longer a complete freak!”

“That’s not very nice, Lydia.”

“What part of it? The part where she was _on his lap_ in front of God and the trees and the little squirrels and probably the neighbor children? Talk about your birds and your bees...”

“You shouldn’t call Lizzie a freak.”

Lydia levels a look at the camera that’s all sass. “I can if it’s the undeniable truth.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Jane says after a moment, glancing down at the script again. “I’m glad that she--that we were wrong about Darcy. About William. Lizzie seems happy, and I think that’s what’s important.”

“Whatevs. You should have heard them confessing all their mushy feelings. They were, like, arguing about who was more wrong. Which, clearly the answer is always Lizzie.”

“Sometimes it’s better to acknowledge when you’re wrong then go on pretending like you’re always right.”

“Oh great; is this going to turn into another rainbows and unicorns description of Bing and how happy you are getting binged on a regular basis?”

“Lydia!”

“What?”

“That’s inappropriate.”

Lydia waggles her eyebrows at the camera and holds up the script. “Did I mention Darcy totally admits to wanting to bone Lizzie within like five minutes of seeing her at Pemberley? Because he did.”

“He wouldn’t have said anything like that--”

“And she was all ‘Oooh, Darcy, I wanted to climb you like a tree! I want to do you like a crossword! I want your man-banana inside me!’”

“She did not say any of those things.”

“You weren’t there. I was. I think the viewers will know who to trust.” She winks at the camera before blowing it a kiss. “And that’s the real deal from the Lydia!”

“What’s the real deal?” Lizzie asks from the doorway, eyebrows raised. “Is it something gross? Do I want to know?”

Behind her, William Darcy steps into view. He's linked to Lizzie by their clasped hands and clearly uncertain about what’s going on.

Lydia glances over at Jane with her lips pursed, and neither can stop themselves from dissolving into laughter.


End file.
